Just Won”DER”ing

14 Jun

Yesterday, after spending a day up north to take care of some family business, Lee and I returned to Columbus by way of Amish Country to mix things up. I know, I know… you’re probably wondering: Exactly HOW boring IS your life that Amish Country was a jazzy, new option? And you’re probably right. But that is beside the point because yesterday it WAS a viable option. And it did not disappoint. In fact, it proved to be quite refreshing and entertaining.

While driving 35 MPH across steep and winding roads through half a dozen quaint little burgs with equally quaint names like Sugarcreek, Walnut Creek and Charm—dodging buggies and bicycles the entire way—we made an interesting observation about the local marketing techniques.

Those techniques being the placing of the words: “Der” and “Ye Olde” in front of every, single “Amish” business that we passed. A couple of examples are: “Der Furniture Market” and “Ye Olde Fudge Shoppe.” Now, I’m certain that all of these businesses were not actually owned and operated by Amish people, but for the sake of moving the largest amount of goods possible to Bob and Betty America from North Dakota, this scheme must be proving successful to a degree.

Driving along, windows down and inquisitive stares hidden behind sunglasses, we couldn’t help but wonDER… (and giggle wildly as we did as we did so) Does placing these words in front of every business name in “Amish Country” really increase patronage? If it does, why didn’t we pass Der Burger King, Ye Olde Wal-Marte, Der Dollar General, Ye Olde Marathon Station or Der Dunkin Donuts… just to name a few?

And yes, it IS that fun to place those words in front of every business. Perhaps that’s an indictment on our character or simply a demonstration of the measure of boredom we were feeling during a 3-hour car ride… I really don’t care. We managed to entertain ourselves as we laughed hysterically while throwing it in front of everything we passed. If you don’t believe me — give it a try on your next road trip.

P.S. Initially I feared offending anyone who IS Amish that might come across this post, but then I remembered… If you’re Amish, you’re probably not reading this anyway.

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11 Responses to “Just Won”DER”ing”

  1. Deb Franzoy June 14, 2012 at 11:47 AM #

    You’re a HOOT! We will try this on our road trip to NC, VA, NY, NJ, FL, LA and Austin, all for different occasions. It will be won-DER-ful! HA!

    • Woman In Thrisis June 14, 2012 at 1:05 PM #

      Yes, Debbie! Definitely DO try it out! It is hilarious. Going through some of those states you are bound to see a “Der” or a “Ye Olde” shoppe or two of your own! Have a great trip!

  2. Deb Shields June 14, 2012 at 12:52 PM #

    I have a “sneaking” suspicion (sp) that Amish DO frequent libraries and they Do surf the internet “sneaking” out any interesting tidbit of western culture! So beware. You might get some reactions where you have gotten their DANder up! (I know that was a stretch …..)

    • Woman In Thrisis June 14, 2012 at 1:07 PM #

      Yes, I’m sure you’re right mother. Someone mentioned that to me on my facebook status last night b/c I wrote about the same thing. She pointed out that many of them have smart phones so they could feasibly see it. Though I doubt anyone in Amish society is interested in reading my blog :P

  3. Booksphotographsandartwork June 14, 2012 at 7:04 PM #

    I’ll have to think of some stupid southern slang to put in front of all of signs that I see riding through redneck country to get to my hometown. My hometown isn’t so much redneck but the journey there is and it is frightning. So many places that I am glad not to live in!

    • Woman In Thrisis June 15, 2012 at 11:53 AM #

      It really is fun to do Linda :) And I know what you mean… I am so glad NOT to live in certain regions, though there are a few that I would LOVE to try out at the same time.

  4. Donald Miller June 15, 2012 at 2:58 AM #

    On behalf of the entire Amish community, I must declare that I am outraged at this non-politically correct usage of der vonderful Amish language. You English are so annoying! Grrrr.

    • Woman In Thrisis June 15, 2012 at 11:54 AM #

      I never thought of you being Amish before, Donald… But your last name IS Miller — a very common Amish name ’round these here parts ;) Sorry if I’ve offended you or your people :)

  5. JT June 15, 2012 at 3:53 PM #

    I’m laughing because all I can think of is the Swedish Chef from the “Muppet Show” and how his voice and intonations coupled with your game tickles me Amish :D, of course if you have never seen the Muppet Show and this character in particular, then you are scratching your and and saying Derrrr ;-)

  6. Shawdiane June 22, 2012 at 2:41 PM #

    Oh I just love all you vondervull folks, you make me laugh so. :-)
    How vonderfull Jaonna to drive thru Amish land. These are people I only get to read about in books or see in old Harrison Ford films or hear horrid things about them on CNN here on our little island of Wight. I love your diversity. Keep it up & keep em coming :-))

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