My Air-Conditioned Life

16 Jul

A fat, lazy fly buzzed around my face as a large bead of sweat began it’s slow journey down the center of my back, stopping at my waistband. My forehead was soaked, my neck sticky and I could not stand the sensation of anything, I mean ANYTHING touching my skin.   

The air was as hot and thick and still as I have ever experienced with a heat index soaring well above one-hundred. Trying my hardest to make polite conversation, the faces before me began to blur and my head started to spin as I began to totally and completely lose my shit.

I excused myself from the table—eyes darting around for some form of escape… ANY form of escape—and I moved closer to the edge of the pavilion. It was then that I began to entertain a multitude of wild imaginings including the tearing off of my clothes as I headed straight into the woods to roll around in some mud like a pig on a sweltering, summer day.

I have led, what you might call an “air-conditioned life.”

In all of my adult life I have never had to work in a non-A/C environment or inhabit a non-A/C abode. Granted, I grew up in a home without A/C but in northern Ohio that wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. And I was just a kid who had yet to develope my intolerance to discomfort.

I have a career which includes sitting for hours at a time in a cushy chair in a perfectly temperature-controlled environment… never breaking a sweat (except for perhaps in the occasional staff meeting).

Those who know me best a.k.a. those who have had to live with me learn fairly early on that I have what you might call a “narrow window of comfort” that exists somewhere between 68-72 degrees fahrenheit. Some of them go so far as to consider this behavior “fussy” or “high maintenance” but naturally I disagree.

No I prefer to think of it as being in touch with my “optimum environmental performance requirement.” And what could possibly be wrong with that?

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12 Responses to “My Air-Conditioned Life”

  1. Donald Miller July 16, 2012 at 1:48 AM #

    Nothing wrong with that. Anything over 72 is INTOLERABLE to me. There is a high humidity where I live. If it were dry air, might be a bit different. It’s hard to find dry air anymore. Even Arizona–the place where they used to send tuberculosis victims is now a sweltering sauna, due to overpaving and the like.

    People say I look younger than my years. It’s due to the air conditioning.

    • Deb Shields July 16, 2012 at 12:46 PM #

      love the last paragraph!

    • Woman In Thrisis July 16, 2012 at 8:46 PM #

      Haha! I LOVE that! Yes, A/C is the answer to just about anything that ails you this time of the year. I lived in southern New Mexico for 12 years and that was HOT but since it is SOOOO hot there aren’t any buildings around that DON’T have air-conditioning… whereas in Ohio, it is OPTIONAL… and it certainly should not be. :P

  2. Deb Shields July 16, 2012 at 12:48 PM #

    LOVE your Optimum Environmental Performance Requirement!

  3. Booksphotographsandartwork July 16, 2012 at 7:51 PM #

    Absolutely nothing girl! I have the same comfort zone and these last few summers are trying my patience. I just got the air in my car fixed for the first time in five summers!! So I have been venturing out during normal daytime hours like all the other humans. Forget it I am going to stop. Air or not it’s too hot. Everytime I go out I get sick. I came home today screaming and having a hissy fit because it was so hot. My husband said it’s not hot today, it’s about 89. And the poor man his new workplace doesn’t have air, he is a machinist and my son is carpenter so I feel bad complaining. I always get a stomach ache or headache or feel faint when I go out. When visiting my parents this weekend we went to my brother’s house to feed and visit his chickens while he was away. We could not have been out of the car for more than 30 minutes and when we got back in I just knew I was going to throw up in my daddy’s nice car. Thank goodness I didn’t. I am trying as hard as I can to get all of my family to move to Alaska. Donald must live near me!

    • Woman In Thrisis July 16, 2012 at 8:48 PM #

      Linda, I feel your pain. I too feel sick when I am exposed to a hot environment for too long… Hence, this post. This summer has unfortunately exposed me to the harsh realities of having to toil in the heat and I am NOT A FAN. ;) Hang in there… autumn will be here before we know it.

  4. myonepreciouslife July 17, 2012 at 10:13 AM #

    Ooh, I’m the other way. I run cold and almost always carry around a sweater in summer. I usually use it too. And I HATE air conditioning. That artificial coldness and recycled quality of air always gives me a sore throat.

    • Woman In Thrisis July 17, 2012 at 10:20 AM #

      I know what you mean about the sore throat and artificial air. But I will take that over being hot anyday. Now if it is just a little warm then I will choose the fresh air… but that is where the 68-72 degree “window” comes in :D Hope you are doing well! I haven’t been around much lately. My fiance just lost his father after losing his mom less than 4 months ago so that has thrown us for a bit of a loop. Looking forward to getting back to normal and catching up with people.

      • myonepreciouslife July 17, 2012 at 10:22 AM #

        Oh, I’m sorry for your/his loss. That’s rough. Welcome back though.

      • Kristine July 17, 2012 at 3:37 PM #

        Wow, Joanna! Lee, and you, have certainly had a hard year so far! I’m sorry for both his and your losses. I am glad that you are there to give him some comfort and companionship during this challenging time.

        Have missed seeing your funny, and very real, posts! I know that when things get back to resembling normalcy that you’ll be cranking out more life-inspired pieces!

        • Woman In Thrisis July 17, 2012 at 11:27 PM #

          Thank you both of you. It has been a trying year but I know we will get through it. I appreciate the kind words :)

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