Thou Shalt Edit Thyself

12 Nov

red_pen

Thanks to our culture’s rampant use of social media to immediately convey our every thought, word, deed and bodily function, I am learning a new skill! I am learning the art of “editing” myself and what I post online. Be they posts, pictures or opinions in the forms of status updates or comments… I am developing some restraint.

Cruising through Instagram, Twitter or Facebook feeds, scrolling over photos of drooling babies, kids kicking soccer balls, hands formed in the shape of a heart hovering above bare baby bumps, a meme about the Obamacare website fail, mud or paint-covered friends posing at the finish line of the latest gimmicky 5K, endless selfies or acquaintances jetting off to exotic locales… I am thankful that my thoughts don’t come pouring instantly forth from my fingertips. If they did, I would be in serious trouble.

If they DID… Well, let’s just say that things could get ugly, fast. I’ll offer up a few “for examples” to help illustrate my point. A sort of “Top Ten List” if you will. Bear in mind, these are ONLY hypotheticals. I am in NO WAY admitting to actually thinking these things or letting them slip over casual dinner conversation with my husband… They’re just a few what-if scenarios.

  1. That is one ugly baby.
  2. Please post MORE drunken pictures of yourself.
  3. That is NOT a good look for you.
  4. Wow! Look how amazing you look now!! You were a total ________________ in high school. (I’ll let you fill in THAT blank yourselves, it’s more fun).
  5. Seriously? Another one? Have some more kids. Now that I think about it, the Duggars DO need some competition, after all.
  6. I see that you are headed to the Caribbean AGAIN… With another “new friend.” I guess that means the boob job’s all paid for then?
  7. How can YOU GUYS afford THAT house?
  8. But really, how do you HONESTLY feel about the 2nd Amendment, Obamacare or Miley Cyrus? I really, REALLY wanna know because I can’t tell from the rest of your posts.
  9. At exactly what point in your life did you forget how to spell or use the English language at all for that matter?
  10. I didn’t know that you were constipated. But now that I know… Well, that just changes everything!

Make no mistake, I don’t believe that I am exempt from annoying people by the things that I post. In fact, a friend once told me outright that they had “hidden” me from their news feed on Facebook because I posted too many pictures of my cat. And I totally respect them for their honesty. I really do.

We just don’t happen to be friends anymore.

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3 Responses to “Thou Shalt Edit Thyself”

  1. Stephanie November 12, 2013 at 10:36 AM #

    I just rejoined facebook after a long hiatus and the temptation to comment on some things is definitely there. To be honest though, most of my own editing comes from not having the energy to craft an argument. Just never seems worth it.

  2. DebS November 12, 2013 at 6:00 PM #

    The red pen was most appropriate! Yes, it is best to edit if we still want people to like us!

  3. Booksphotographsandartwork November 16, 2013 at 11:05 PM #

    So funny! I mostly stay off of Facebook. Once there was something bad posted about something who did something really horrible to an animal. If I knew the person could have never found me and killed me ( you can’t be sure of that nowadays ) I had something ready to say. It would have shocked a lot of people. I wasn’t really worried about that part. I have a friend who posts way too many bad things that happen to animals and I can’t take it so I just stay off. I really don’t care about the day to day stupid things people are doing anyway.

    The entire internet needs a lot more editing.

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