Airing of Grievances

23 Dec

FestivusSo here we are again. It is that special time of year to gather with those we hold dear. A time to look back—another year older and hopefully wiser—and take stock. Yes once again, Festivus is upon us and we pause to reflect on the people near us and inform them of all of the ways they have disappointed us in the past year.

That’s right. You read correctly. Let the annual Airing of Grievances commence. I realize that some may think ill of me for keeping track of all of the ways I’ve been wronged in the previous 365 days… but honestly it is thanks to a cool app on my phone that I was able to keep track. Thank you technology!

It is simply called Grievance and it is a thing of beauty for those who enjoy fostering and nurturing a healthy grudge. All year long I can open it and enter said wrong-doings and then, on THIS day, December 23, Grievance lets me see the year in review. So in the spirit of the season, I thought I’d share with you the Top 10 types of grievances I filed in 2013.

  1. Line Holder-Uppers. You know… People in line at the pharmacy, the post office, the retail checkout, Subway, or the grocery store… having scripts or postage or coupon codes explained to them in great detail by the store associate.
  2. The Media. For being SO obsessed with being the FIRST to break a story, that the information being disseminated is purely and entirely false.
  3. People who paint their ring fingers a different color… Because… why?
  4. Stick Figure Families. And the suburbanites who insist upon putting them in the lower left corner of the back window on their ginormous, consumptive SUV’s.
  5. Daylight Savings Time. For screwing with my sleep patterns and making me gruff, tired and totally intellectually annihilated for 2 whole weeks following the change.
  6.  The Starbucks Barista. For screwing up my order. ANY Starbucks Barista for screwing up my order… Ever. Because anything equivalent to caffeinated gold should be flawless. Every. Single. Time.
  7. My Doctor. For insisting upon insisting that I arrive 15 minutes ahead of my scheduled appointment time for supposed “paperwork” even though it’s already been filled out — but who isn’t even there yet himself.
  8. The Aflac Lady. For being a pusher by coming to my office to sell me additional insurance coverage and attempting to put the fear of God into me by casually tossing about words and phrases like “accidental death” and “dismemberment” and “unforeseen illness” or “unexpected tragic events”.
  9. The insurance company. For trying to use my migraines as a “preexisting condition” so as not pay my claims simply because I MENTION that I take medication for migraine when asked by ANY doctor what type of medications I am currently on.
  10. Fashion. For elevating “skinny jeans” to the level of MUST WEAR apparel so much so that boot cut is nearly impossible to find.

Happy Festivus everyone! I hope you’ve had a great one and please feel free to air your own grievances in the comments section to keep this blessed tradition alive!

About these ads

4 Responses to “Airing of Grievances”

  1. Christan December 24, 2013 at 7:42 PM #

    Greivances: people who like to tell me “so-and-so” stopped eating (or started eating) “such-and-such” and it cured them of their migraines. I know their heart is in the right place, but like 2 and a half years into this nightmare, and literally 6 doctors later…don’t you suppose we’ve covered all of the obvious bases, like diet and nutrients? Thank you, Joanna : ) I DO feel better

  2. Deb Shields December 24, 2013 at 8:17 PM #

    WE have to know all the technicalities of all our insurances. WE have to be lawyers to interpret all the info that comes to us from said companies.
    Second grievance…small town politics and sports! Hate the favoritism.

  3. Booksphotographsandartwork December 27, 2013 at 10:52 PM #

    Mine would be insurance companies and all of their stupid screwing around with us. Hate it, tired of it, hate them.

  4. becomingcliche December 30, 2013 at 8:29 AM #

    Number two is a really good one. I quit watching the news, and if there’s a breaking story, I especially ignore that one. It has been a good, teachable moment for my kids, though. The media is not there for US, it’s there to make money, so accuracy ain’t all that important.

    Those who live-tweet every, single television show/sporting event they watch (complete with spoilers).

    People who jump on the bandwagon of media outrage without ever reading a single primary source for themselves.

    Peter Jackson for his Desolation of The Hobbit. The wounds will not heal.

    People who refuse to pick up after their dogs at the park.

    I feel so much better. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 337 other followers

%d bloggers like this: