It’s that time of year again! But I’m not talking about Christmas. For most people, this time of year is all about Christmas. But for a dedicated (and perhaps obsessed) few, is also a time for celebrating the lesser-known holiday that is Festivus.

I, along with most of you, became aware of Festivus from Seinfeld, but it did actually exist before George’s father Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) made it famous in 1997. It was originally created by writer Dan O’Keefe back in 1966, who was the father of one of the writers for the show. So in this case, art really did imitate life.

I find 2011 a particularly good year to make note of Festivus because of the holiday’s emphasis on anti-commercialism. At a time when many people are having to “downscale” Christmas due to financial strain, perhaps it is even more important than ever to find “alternative” ways of celebrating.

One of the aspects of the Festivus tradition (besides setting up the aluminum pole and carrying out the Feats Of Strength) is my personal fave: The Airing of Grievances. Therefore, I have taken the time to compile a list of some of my own grievances. Truthfully, they are more like annoyances, but nevertheless, it was entertaining as well as cathartic to create this list. And I encourage all of you to do the same!

Here they are, in no particular order… My own personal Festivus Airing of Grievances:

1. “I-see-London-I-see-France” extremely low-rise jeans
2. The “Muffin Top” created by aforementioned “I-see-London-I-see-France” extremely low-rise jeans
3. Twilight hysteria
4. People on the road between 7 and 9 a.m. who aren’t going to work
5. Bad grammar
6. Low water pressure
7. Bullies
8. Celebrity “Baby Bumps”
9. Anyone who calls a baby bump a “bump”
10. People taking up the entire aisle at the grocery store and NOT budging even though they KNOW you are there and that you cannot pass
11. Passive Aggressiveness
12. Men who think women are second-class citizens
13. Closed-mindedness
14. Finding a garment that I absolutely love, only to discover that they are out of my size or color choice
15. The one hundred million “talent shows” that are currently on TV. I mean seriously… enough with the singing and dancing already
16. Michigan
17. Dropped calls
18. DVDs that skip or get stuck right at critical moments in the plot
19. Claymation, stop-animation, nutcrackers, marionettes, ventriloquist dummies, puppets and clowns
20. People who do not respect the importance (and necessity) of a good 12-hour sleep stretch
21. Jell-o with fruit in it
22. Internet pop-ups 
telling me I’ve won something when all they really want to do is give me a virus
23. People continuing to call me Joann, after I’ve corrected them or they already know my name is Joanna
24. Computer crashes
25. Sarah Palin 
talking
26. Michele Bachmann (with ONE “L” in Michele and TWO “N’s” in Bachmann)
27. Donald Trump and his little hair pet
28. Newt Gingrich mentioning his wife Callista by name 3,000 times in one sentence
29. ALL of the Republican Party / Tea Party candidates AND the ones who refuse to admit they are going to run but hang around constantly (i.e. Sarah Palin and The Donald)
30. The Duggar Family (sorry, I know they just experienced a very real and legitimate loss but why must we know every single detail of these people’s reproductive lives?) Why isn’t 19 enough? After all, eight was enough to entertain us in the 80s (If you don’t get the aforementioned 80s pop-culture reference… add yourself to this list)
31. Drivers who don’t signal
32. Products that don’t do what they say they’ll do
33. Drivers who are slow
34. The fact that ALL of the best TV programs are on at the same time on Thursdays
35. Pre-existing conditions
36. Magazines that are full of both airbrushed, anorexic models AND articles about why you should love yourself just the way you are
37. Hidden fees
38. People who don’t believe in birth control, but then bitch when… SURPRISE!!… They have another kid
39. Radio stations that claim to play a lot of music and nothing BUT music, but in actuality have a 5 to 1, commercial to song ratio
40. People who don’t understand or appreciate the cultural beauty and timelessness that is Seinfeld

Happy Festivus everybody! May you discover the joy and fulfillment of airing your own grievances this holiday season and all year long.