Easier Than Nuclear Fission?

It is with great hesitation, reservation, fear and trepidation that I put this out there for the world to see but I am just going to go for it. I need to make some changes. Some personal changes. Because let me tell you, the status quo is just not cutting it.

Einstein is credited with saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In my mind, the genius of this quote is akin to splitting the atom.

The funny thing is that ALL of the stuff I struggle with could probably ALL be resolved by changing three simple things. They are… in exactly this order: going to bed on time, getting up earlier and exercising.

The fallout from these three actions—not unlike the dropping of an atomic device—has the potential to be far-reaching and long-lasting. One doesn’t have to be a nuclear physicist to understand that going to bed ON TIME would make GETTING UP EARLIER EASIER, hence having more early morning time to EXERCISE! Duh.

But still I fight it tooth and nail. There’s always a really good episode of Friends or Seinfeld or The New Adventures of Old Christine or the King of Queens or Chelsea Lately or… I KNOW… I WATCH A LOT OF DAMN TV. I GET IT.

Anyway, there’s that… or I want to read just ONE more chapter in my book… or paint my toenails some fabulous shade of purple that I just found at the local drug store… or I get a rare surge of energy and decide to organize my linen closet by color, shade and texture.

So… as you can see… I seem to have a lot of potential roadblocks on this journey toward self-improvement. And yet, as good old Al so clearly implied with his definition of insanity: If nothing changes, nothing changes. Detonating these three explosively-effective measures would inevitably begin a chain reaction that would knock down all sorts of barriers in my life.

I would look, feel and BE healthier for getting more sleep. I wouldn’t owe near as much money to my therapist or pharmacist for all the mental health rewards I’d be reaping as a result of my incredible self-discipline. I’d be able to comfortably wear those cute little tiny things in my closet that fit me once upon a time. My productivity on the job would sky rocket leading to promotions and bonuses and salary increases…

I’d be unstoppable.

So what then, is holding me back? With my finger planted ever-so-firmly on the button, why can’t I press down? Well, you see… tonight there’s this really good episode of Friends / Seinfeld / The New Adventures of Old Christine / King of Queens / Chelsea Lately and I’m almost done with my book… I’m behind on reading my magazines (which are really piling up)… the summer clothes need to be put away… and…

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6 thoughts on “Easier Than Nuclear Fission?

  1. Fear not! You are not alone. I do the same thing. Last night I stayed up to watch a documentary on Showtime called “The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.” It’s one of those train wreck documentaries — you just can’t believe what you’re seeing and are desperate to see what happens next because no sitcom or movie is better than what’s happening in real life with these people. As a result, this morning I’m so over the Whites of WV, Showtime, Cox Cable, my alarm, and the woman in the elevator this morning who pushed the wrong button and made us stop an extra time, thereby officially making me late to work. 50 floors is a long ride. The implications from lack of sleep are exponential. Let us know if you find a solution to this problem.

  2. JT says:

    Purple…I love purple! Maybe you should change jobs, perhaps get two part time jobs, one working for the Nielson Rating company and one testing treadmills while working for Nielson 😉 just saying…

  3. Sounds as if you might be a nightowl. I have the worst problem with this. It has gotten completely out of hand. Same things too. Reading, a sudden burst of energy, The Adventures of Old Christiene, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Office. I have found myself awake at 2:30! That used to not be unusual for me but I had been trying to have a somewhat more regular schedule. So I give up. And I might as well face the fact that I am not going to exercise. Blah. But you should not give up. Keep trying, save yourself.

  4. I’d love to say that if you got rid of your TV it would fix this, but there’ll always be something. I went through a stage once of playing an obscene amount of solitaire. If you’re more of a night person than a morning person, why don’t you exercise at night?

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