The Deep End

deep endSo it’s time to address the virtual elephant in the room. I’ve been feeling a little bit guilty lately… And a little bit like a slacker. Recently, I’ve barely managed to eek out two posts a week here on this blog, where at one time, I was posting daily. Admittedly, my comments go unacknowledged and unanswered for far too long. And I’m not EVEN going to address how badly I suck at visiting my friends’ blogs.

Except that I’ve been anything but a slacker… in my Real Life. In my flesh-and-blood-non-pixel-people-cyber-world things have been fairly active. So active, in fact, that it has kept me from this thing that I love so much. So to those of you who’ve been faithful readers all along AND those of you who may have just begun following, please accept my apologies.

Within the span of ONE week I began a new job in the Marketing Department of a large architectural firm, started studying Web Design at the Columbus College of Art and Design and fell prey to “The Crud” that’s been going around. I nursed one of my beloved cluster headaches for nearly two weeks while trying to assimilate to 35-minute-long city commutes, brown bag lunches, new passwords, unfamiliar coffee machines, copiers, printers and conference calls that span at least five different time zones.

I was, for lack of a better term, thrown into the deep end of Grownupland without a flotation device. I went from sleeping until 10, lounging around the house watching bad movies on Lifetime and sending out resumes, making calls and receiving countless “you suck” rejection emails while in yoga pants and sweatshirts… to actual WORK. Yes, that is a real, live, alarm-clock-smacking-rush-rush-shower-makeup-pantyhose-heels J-O-B.

But just last night—while brushing the three inches of fresh snow (that had fallen since lunch) from my car after an 11-hour work day—it occurred to me that even though I am thoroughly exhausted and my head feels as though it could explode from all of the “new” information I am taking in on a daily basis… I feel alive.

There is something quite invigorating about being challenged and pushed to beyond what we think we can bear at times. Hopefully soon, when the waters calm I’ll get back on track with more regular writing. But until then, if the choice is between sitting on the couch listening to Hoda and Kathy Lee whine about wine while looking for a job OR getting tossed head-long into the Deep End… I think I’d rather swim.


10 thoughts on “The Deep End

  1. Don’t feel like a slacker! I, too, am adjusting to commuting on the train and working this demanding new full time job. You’ll fall into a new schedule and figure out your rhythm in no time. 🙂

  2. Ashley says:

    I think everyone understands and I know I’m super happy for you that you’re working full time and it seems doing a job you’re happy with. Do I miss your laugh out loud, literally, posts? Yes, for sure. But it’s also made the entires that show up in my feed a real treat! Good luck and keep swimming!!!

  3. Great news about the job! I don’t know how you manage it with cluster headaches. About a month ago I suddenly started having ice pick headaches. Boy that was a shock. They stopped just as suddenly as they started. I’m glad to hear that someone is out and about and accomplishing something! Best wishes to you.

    • Thank you Linda! So far I love it even though it is challenging. Though maybe that’s WHY I love it! Fortunately the clusters don’t happen often… a few times a year I think. I do hope they don’t get worse as I get older. I hope yours don’t come around again. They are awful. There is nothing like them. It is hard to function, for sure. But they last so long that you have no choice and that is what sucks the most! Thank you for the well-wishes!

  4. Donald Miller says:

    Well, you aren’t going to get any disagreement from me about the not visiting a devoted follower’s site. But I must forgive you, because you are my friend, and I genuinely like you. I have ever since I read the first few lines of writing I read of yours. AND, you are a very good writer. (I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t believe it.)

    Sorry to hear about those headaches. And glad to hear about the new job and school that you enjoy.

    I’m happy that you continue writing. Things wouldn’t be the same without looking forward to reading your essays.

        • Donald Miller says:

          The way it works for me is that if someone doesn’t comment on my weblog, I delete them from the blogs I follow. In fact I’m just about to clean house right now. I’m down to nearly nobody. BUT I am rewriting my recent posts. I mention that in one of two I have on the blog. It’s called, Expectation, Meet Reality, which is a post about me firing myself for writing subpar stuff.

          HOWEVER, as the reformed writer that I am, I did rewrite one that isn’t too bad. It’s called Music of the Spheres.

          Always, your devoted fan,


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