Our new shower rod was resting on the dining room table along side Christmas presents, gloves and our newest stack of purchases from the local used book store. Wrapping paper, ribbons and holiday bags were strewn about the hallway in what can only be described as the result of a full-blown holiday fury. New lamps and old, skirted the edges of the living room as the “appropriate decorative illumination” deliberations entered into their second day. As far as I was concerned, nothing seemed to be in its “place” and it was driving me crazy.
You see, this wasn’t yet my house… but it soon would be. None of my things were there… but they soon would be. My mind was swimming with questions and concerns: Where will I put my favorite side table? Will my throw pillows match his couch? Man I wish I had my Keurig… and my favorite flannel pjs… my down pillows… my DVDs… and Stanley.
During the transition from an old life to a new one, there is a space that lies between. This is where I found myself then and even though I can see the other side from where I am now—as I inch ever-closer day by day—I’m still standing on the bridge over the gap.
Within the gap there are some everyday things that inevitably get caught in the cracks between the transitions we make in our lives. Things like misplaced shower rods, bagels and laundry laying where they aren’t supposed to be along with mixed-up emotions lacking any proper explanation. Yesterday, I was reminded by a beautiful writer in her recent post about a personal life transition just how out-of-whack life seems in the midst of major change.
No matter what our journeys look like. No matter our transitions… be it a career change, a new baby, a relocation, a tragic loss or the beginning or ending of a vital relationship… there will always be the transition and that awkward space between when we’re bound to feel out of place, discovering our “things” in odd locations where it seems they don’t belong.
Transitions are exciting — but scary. I think we crave extra security and comfort (what if it’s worse?!) in those times. I’m making a physical transition soon that scares the crap out of me (hip replacement). The whole idea of some alien object permanently embedded in my body? Are you kidding????? Carrying a little card so when I ding at airport security they know why?????
Keck. Teddy stays nearby for the duration…
Great post…again. You know, I have felt that way all my life. (Caught between). I am always asking, “Where is this going?” “What will be happening next year at this time with…?” I guess that is okay as long as you don’t fret about it. That is my problem…I fret. Since just retiring from education for 35 years, I feel perched on the bridge. I don’t want to see just death at the other end. But I fear that is what I am seeing. Like…it’s over. It is not GOLDEN. Years ahead. It is pain and suffering and loss. I think I am in a “funk”.
Our 1st year of marriage was a wild and crazy transition. We got married, my husband moved cross country while I stayed back to sell our house (5 months apart), I finally arrive and start looking for employment, built a house, moved out of storage and temporary housing into new house. The best part of it all was it made our relationship so much stronger! Nothing like feeling like you are in limbo, just hang in there and lean on your support system. Have a Great Day!
Hello Deb (Joannes lovely mummy) I was saddend to read your post about retiring & your thoughts were those of ‘death’. Having enjoyed reading later posts of yours to your daughter, I am hoping that this fear has now eased & instead, you are enjoying your hard earned days of ‘being able to spend your days as you please’. I was able to take early retirement in my 40s & have never regretted it. My lovely husband & I moved from the beautiful but hectic City of London, to the tiny Isle of Wight, a massive move in many ways & one that has been the best thing we ever did. We now lead a life out of the rat race & actually able to ‘enjoy & to feel the day’ & no longer hankering about much better days in the future. Your beautiful daughter Joanne is an inspiration & I very much enjoy following what she has to say on her blogg. I wish you both many happy days & I know there is much love in there too. 🙂