In Sickness

sick coupleThere’s nothing quite so lovely or nearly as romantic as being sick with the one you love. Ahh yes, gazing softly and tenderly across the kleenex-and-blister-pack-strewn room… peering pathetically into one another’s deeply-sunken, dead-grey eyes and affectionately eeking out the phrase: “My dear, will you please pass the Mucinex?”

If you haven’t experienced this blissful coupled journey already, I can promise that someday you will. And on that day you will come to realize that indeed, the honeymoon is over. When you’re too tired to take a shower or work a comb through your hair and you’re incapable of remembering exactly which day last week the sweatshirt and pair of pajama pants you’re currently wearing emerged from the third dresser drawer — it isn’t a pretty sight.

Nor is it for the faint of heart. No Ma’am. You’ve gotta be 100% committed to this $#!*. Because instead of discussing where to meet up with your friends for drinks on Friday night, what new restaurant you might check out on Saturday or a possible weekend road trip… you’re reading aloud to one another absolutely riveting passages from the dosing instructions and possible side-effects portions of various OTC and prescription drug leaflets and packages.

Yes, “The Crud” has hit our home and hit it hard. And based upon my constant perusal of various social media outlets — it has been descending upon many other households as well. Fortunately (for me I suppose) I have not fallen as ill as Lee. Unfortunately (for him) he has really gotten slammed. And I do hope that he will be on the mend soon.

Quite miraculously it has worked out that (over the course of seven days — give or take) when one of us has been really down, the other has seemed a bit stronger. Initially, out of sympathy, this spurs a kind of trading of roles from patient to caregiver. However, this turn of events can oftentimes trigger a wonderfully entertaining and hearty bout of the game of One-Up-Manship that I like to call: “Who’s Sicker?” a.k.a. “Who Should Be The One To Go Out and Retrieve More Medicince and Comfort Food?”

Slinging phrases such as “My head is really pounding” or “My throat is really sore, I sure could use a slushie from Sonic” or “I’m so weak I need to lie down for awhile” or “I’m pretty sure I’m going to hack up a lung if not a kidney here pretty soon” usually helps in determining the game’s winner. Thus far, I have only emerged the victor on one occasion.

Hopefully, our walk through the wilderness of disease and pestilence will come to an end — soon. Until then I guess we’re stuck with each other — in all of our sniffly, stuffy, coughy, achy, short-fused, wild-haired, week-old-pajama glory. Neither one of us has run screaming toward the hills just yet. So the way I see it, that’s either a sign of true love… or we’re just too worn out to make the trip.

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18 thoughts on “In Sickness

  1. Again, hilarious. Your last paragraph really sums it up soooo well. Go back and read it again…you’ll see what I mean. Esp. loved the part of one-up-manship. We must ALL do this, sick or not. ANother great post.

  2. I hope you guys feel better soon. Yucko, Sucko! I have experienced sickness, ER visits, tests, surgeries with my hubbie – dealing with a back injury right now and just sneezing hurts. Take Care:)

  3. Oh the joy. LOL. When I had my three teeth removed a few months ago I had to throw up and that is hard to do when you can’t feel your mouth at all. So it was the most awful and weird and embarrassing thing ever. And then nothing but spit came out, flying in all directions. I’m sure my husband wanted to laugh but he didn’t. When have both been through some very serious and almost fatal health experiences together. So we might as well stick it out now. We have seen each other as no one else would want to. I hope you guys feel better soon.

  4. JT says:

    Even it sickness you can yuck it up…. truly the sign of of someone who’s elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top, Thankfully it stops at “look at the bright side blvd. every time 😀

  5. Donald Miller says:

    I’m glad you wrote a post, even if it was one about being unwell. Neil Young wrote three songs in one day when he had a 103° temperature: “Down By The River”, “Cowgirl In The Sand” and “Cinnamon Girl”. Neil would be my favorite singer/songwriter even if he wasn’t famous. I wonder if he’d get tired of hearing someone say, “Another excellent song.”

    I’m also wondering if he was friends with Travis Trit, would he listen to any of Travis’s songs, occasionally.

    • Donald Miller says:

      Well, it’s been a little over a week and a half now, so if I don’t hear from you in two days, I’m sending out a search party.

    • Haha 😀 Thank you Donald. That one sort of wrote itself. I think a bit of cabin fever prompted me to prop myself up at the computer and write something. I didn’t know that about NY writing those songs while ill. That is interesting to know. So to anyone who is creative and says that they cannot work b/c they are sick… I guess you can just point them to Neil, now can’t you? 🙂

      • Donald Miller says:

        Neil is amazing. I just listened to a bit of his new album — he seems to put a new one ought every year. This one’s called “Americana” and as usual he’s hit the ball out of the park.

  6. Get well soon. I am afraid of the moment I am sick at the same time with my significant other. Who is taking care of who in such situation? Who is making the soup, who is bringing the water? I demand a lot of attention when I am sick so this would be very challenging for me. Or for him:)

    • Thank you Lavinia. You will do fine. You just sort of take turns I think. At least that’s what we did. When one was really down, the other one stepped it up and vice versa. I demand a lot of attention too 😉

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