Crashing My Pizza Party

The Romeo’s Pizza coupon hung on the bulletin board in the kitchen for months. With it’s piping-hot pledge for a free 1-topping pie whenever I wanted, I knew it was something to be savored and not squandered some random night after a few too many beers.

Thus, when the phone rang at 1 p.m. on an otherwise-quiet Thursday afternoon with a request for an immediate interview THE NEXT DAY with one of the leading, most-coolest, most-coveted employers in Columbus… I felt the time had come to redeem that coupon.

I know, I didn’t HAVE the job yet. I didn’t even have the awesome, knock-their-socks-off-they-will-surely-choose-to-employ-me-the-moment-we-shake-hands interview yet — the small, step-in-the-right-direction victory felt like cause for celebration. It’s either that or I just REALLY had a hankering for some pizza.

I made the call ordering up my FREE pie which would—in a mere 15 minutes—be sitting on my coffee table with an ice-cold beverage. I drove the 5 minutes to pick it up (so as to avoid the delivery charge, making it TRULY FREE) and settled down in front of a chick flick of my choosing.

At first bite, I was blissfully savoring the emotional high of the moment. The company of my man (yes I DID share the pizza), a DE-LI-CI-OUS, saucy pizza, a mediocre Sandra Bullock movie and the knowledge that my newly-organized portfolio and smoothed-over power suit were going to land me a killer J-O-B on the morrow.

With 2 slices down, I decided that it was too good of an occasion NOT to indulge in 2 more. (Don’t judge me… They were small pieces.) So I filled up my plate with 2 more pieces and settled in front of Miss Bullock for the remainder of her luke-warm performance in a so-so movie that could only be described as a romantic thriller.

It was at that moment that the phone rang again. I wonder what this is about? Maybe it’s another interview?! Wow, when it rains it POURS!! Rushing to the phone with bloated confidence and an even more bloated pizza-tummy, I was puzzled to see the same number as earlier in the day. Huh.

  • Job Rep on The Phone: “I’m sorry to inform you Joanna, but the interview for tomorrow has been cancelled. I just received word that the position has been filled.”
  • Me (to myself): “Damn.”
  • Me (to him trying NOT to sound desperately pathetic and crushed): “Oh? That is disappointing news. Any thoughts as to how this happened? … Well, I know you’ll keep trying to get me in front of them. Thank you for calling.”
  • Him (only the fragments I retained): “We will keep trying… This happens… patience… It will happen … stay positive … talk soon.”

After hanging up I looked down at my sad little half-eaten victory meal… then to Sandra Bullock’s frozen face on the screen where I had paused her… and back to my once-lovely slices again. At first I had no desire to finish eating it. I mean, it tasted great and I still wanted it. But somehow it felt wrong to eat it.

A few tears and an encouraging, sympathetic pep talk from my sweetie later I slowly picked up the remains of what was once my celebratory victory pizza and decided it WAS still worthy of consumption. But it’s purpose had changed. It had become comfort food.

Now the coupon is gone. It is—without a doubt—squished into a tiny, yellow and red paper ball, covered with half-eaten slices, greasy napkins and used plastic utensils… and sitting at the bottom of Romeo’s dumpster. Right next to my overly-inflated ego.


19 thoughts on “Crashing My Pizza Party

  1. Billie says:

    Awwww keep your head up Jo, I’m not going to give you the ‘everything happens for a reason’ speech (does anyone EVER want to hear that?). What I WILL do is help re-inflate that ego. You are BEAUTIFUL, you are TALENTED, you are INTELLIGENT, and maybe, just maybe you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be, doing the J-O-B you are supposed to be doing right now at this point in your life! 🙂 xoxo

    • Thanks Billy 🙂 I actually believe you 100% too about being where I am supposed to be. I just thought it was kind of something funny to write about in the whole job search adventure 😉 But I really appreciate your encouragement!

  2. You DESERVE to Celebrate, especially since you have been hunting for the j-o-b:) I have been looking for 7 months and try to tell myself that my time will can, but really hard to be patient. Hang in there and I am sending good thoughts that your dream job is around the corner. Have a Wonderful Weekend:)

  3. You sure know how to take the reader on the emotional ride with you! Great writing and a job will soon be at your doorstep. You know you are too good to work for just ANY COMPANY.

  4. Hey aren’t you a graphic designer? I am sure you have mentioned that before or am I making that up? Do you have a blog or website that shows some of your work? I would love to see what your work entails unless it is rude to ask. And hey I know that call was dissapointing but you are getting closer!

    • Thank you Linda! No, I have an electronic portfolio that I email around but not an online one. I should check into that and when I do I will send you the link or publish it here. I appreciate the encouragement! 😉

  5. Donald Miller says:

    You, ah, want me to, you know; make dese guys an offer they can’t refuse, just give me da word.

    Bodda-bing, boda-boom, boda-BANG. No problem.

    • Donald Miller says:

      Well, I see that my usual attempt at humour is failing miserably. Feel free to get rid of deh awkwardly unfunny remark. No problem. Fahget about it. Yous can whack dis reply while you’re at it, my dear lady.

      As you can see, my first name is Don, and when you combine that with Pizza, watch out, for I begin morphing into the Godfather.

      It does work out more often than not. When they hand me the bill, I usually go off into the “What have I ever done to deserve so much disrespect. Four out of five to the check back from me. Interesting, the one in five who didn’t all serious of devastatin’ly bad luck.

      • No Donald, as a big fan of the Godfather trilogy I lOVED your comment! I have just been out of pocket for more family-related stuff that has cropped up unexpectedly. Sorry for the tardy reply! I can’t wait for life to resemble “normal”… it hasn’t since early March. 2012 has been a toughie thus far! But thank you for continuing to read my sorry attempts at keeping this blog alive! 😉

  6. JT says:

    Maybe this was a sign… maybe you should deliver pizzas while the bone heads in HR finally figure out how much money to offer you in order to score your bodacious talent 😀 Just saying…

  7. Donald Miller says:

    “(yes I DID share the pizza)” Heh-heh. 🙂

    “and settled down in front of a chick flick of my choosing.” Aww. Poor Lee!

    I think girls don’t realize just how cruel they are for us guys. (Sort of like making Hannibal Lecter watch those Evangelists all weekend.) The last time I had to watch one was when I was watching “24” with Keifer Southerland, for you see the producers decided they wanted to make a show for everybody, so they made one-third of the episodes as chick flicks and the rest of it Keifer taking out the bad guys. So, during one-third of the thing, I’m sitting with my arms folded, eyes rolling, foot tapping, impatiently awaiting the next return to action, of the spy versus spy kind.


      • Donald Miller says:

        Yeah, good guys do that. We like it that our ladies are happy–it makes us happy.

        I was going to quote from a James Taylor song, and then I got thinking: Why not just place the song in the comment? It’s a nice song, and true. (Maybe Lee or some of your readers haven’t heard it yet.)

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