It’s Not Me… It’s You

the_jerk_store-208x300In 37 years I still haven’t managed to figure out that some people are simply NOT worth my time or energy. They will never be kind no matter how many cheerful “Good Mornings” or “Hellos” I waste my breath on uttering day after day after day. Being a friendly and outgoing person myself, I offer everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt by being nice to them. Call me crazy — that’s just how I was raised. However, as I age, I am learning (not nearly fast enough) that there IS a limit. Or at least there SHOULD be a limit on the quantity of niceties I offer up to someone who is—for lack of a better, KINDER term—an @$$hole.

As was discussed recently on a CBS news program, @$$holes are growing in number. I’m sure this doesn’t come as a shock to you wherever you are. I’m sure that in the last seven days you have most likely crossed paths with an obnoxious tailgater or cutter-offer in traffic, a jerk who line jumped you at the register when your arms were busy juggling 12 cans of cat food, a value bottle of shampoo and an unusually large loaf of frozen garlic bread, or an office mate or acquaintance who could not return a greeting to save his or her miserable life. If you’re out there in the world, then you’ve most certainly run across one if not ALL of these characters at some point in time.

There will always be jerks in the world. I get that. But the one thing I truly have a problem with is dealing with the @$$hole(s) who KNOW you and yet REFUSE to be civil. When nothing bitter, sour or otherwise distasteful has transpired between the two of you—how can it when you’ve never even spoken?—yet you’re the recipient of endless cold shoulders, dismissive actions and downright rudeness. What do you do with THESE people? Seriously. I’m asking. Inquiring minds want to know. I want to know what others of you do when dealing with this particular individual in your own lives.

I know the whole “It isn’t you, it’s them” routine is the standard issue response to this question, generally. So please don’t give me that one (plus I already used it in the title). Because I can repeat that to myself until I’m blue in the face, pumping up my morale momentarily and feeling all I’m OK, You’re OK about the whole thing… that is until the very next time one of us veers into the other’s world. And I am dumbfounded once again at their blatant disregard for the other human being in their midst. “HELLO!?! ARE YOU BLIND!?! WERE YOU RAISED BY WOLVES!?!” I end up screaming inside my brain before rolling my eyes and muttering obscenities under my breath as I stomp off in the opposite direction.

I am not asking to be best friends. I don’t want to know what you’re buying your kids for Christmas or what color ornaments you hung on the tree this year. I don’t even want to know whether or not you’re having a good day. All I’d like is the simple acknowledgment that you and I are indeed occupying the same space on this spinning blue marble called earth at this very same moment in time. A nod, a smile, a simple return of my greeting… Is that too much to ask? Hell. I’d even settle for a grunt of recognition. At least then I’d know you had a soul.

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13 thoughts on “It’s Not Me… It’s You

  1. You can just go aggressively nice. It freaks people right out and looks like this:

    You: Good Morning
    Other Person: (Silence)
    You: (Louder) I said, Good MORN-ing!
    Other Person (Silence)
    You: (Walk up and start clapping in their ear until they look at you.) Oh my goodness, I’m so happy. I thought for a moment that you had gone suddenly deaf! So, GOOD MORNING! How are you today?

    They will probably respond properly in future, not just to you, but to everyone.

  2. I have try everything to killing with kindness and ignoring. I have found that being cordial and civil works best for me when dealing with people who are not really worth my time let alone my space. I say a greeting and move on with my day. The less interaction the better. Hang in there – Happy Tuesday:)

    • Yes, it definitely depends on the day. Some days I try and others I just don’t even. It isn’t worth it. Wouldn’t you know the day I posted this… said person was extremely friendly. Person doesn’t read my blog so it was purely coincidence but still!

  3. Just imagine for a moment that your life sucks. You have no friends and you HATE everyone and everything. Enter the pretty, smiling “new girl”. You haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell with this person. They hate the very IDEA of you in this crumm y, crappy world. Of course you know I am playing devil’s advocate here. Give it up girl. Be nice as a previous commenter said and you have done your part. See, you are trying to show them that the world doesn’t have to suck. I speak from experience and you know what place I am refering to. Love you..

    • Spoken like a try Mom who believes everyone finds her daughter to be “cute” or “threatening” — I appreciate that and I love you for it b/c that is what mothers do. But this person is really just a jackass I think. 😛

  4. JT says:

    Sometimes I play head games to amuse myself… I will walk over into their space get this kind of dreamy smile on my face look up and slightly behind them and say… “Oh my, what a funny place for a sailboat”. I then walk away as if nothing at all was said. 😀

  5. Donald Miller says:

    I guess considering the fact that I went to bed last night without any horrific headlines, and I wake up this morning with one of the worst imaginable, we ought to delete this comment.

    • Comments deleted Donald. I didn’t eve thing about your comments in relation to what happened in CT. But yes, better safe than sorry. It is just so tragic that it is probably a good time to be sensitive. I actually needed to re-work part of something I was working on for tomorrow b/c in light of those events it probably just isn’t funny anymore. Context is everything.

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